Yes, it’s been awhile since I made a post…almost five months now!!! Haven’t got back my passion for blogging, as well as my passion for scrapbooking, which was the reason really why I went into writing.
Now, I am here… just came into my mind to open my windows live writer… when I don’t even know what will I write. The only thing I know right now is that I am at one of my lowest point. But not totally depressed.. just sad, lonely, empty, weak, in pain….
My world revolves around the four corners of my room… from sunrise to sunset…. from the time I wake up to the time that I decide to call it a night. Sometimes I wish I really can go out and explore… see the other side of the world… Once, I read a shout out of somebody I know in facebook… and it goes, : “get out of your comfort zone! break out from your shell! explore the world as you should! (to myself)”…. and as I read that, I thought that I should also be saying that to myself!!!
But much as I wanted to, I can not. I am weak at this point in my life. I really can not go to all those places that I wanted to see, hope to see before I leave this world.
I have so much regret in my life…I haven’t been able to do so many things…and if I am given the chance to live my life again, I will definitely do them all… like riding a bike, swim, ice skating, play volleyball, tennis and bowling, drive a car, do better in my professional career, maintain lasting relationship with my so-called friends and travel and see my country and the world.
All these will have to wait for my next life, if ever there will be one. It’s so hard to live a life alone (not literally). I just felt that there is really no one that can hear my voice, someone that would really listen to what I am trying to say… no one really cares I believe.
So sorry if I came out with this piece… a very sad one really. I am just glad that I have my laptop and my blog to pour my heart out… somehow it eases the pain… and i know somehow there is somebody out there who can relate to what I am going thru…. so at least, with that in notion, I “am not alone”…
